


How to Spell Commitment

by Tatau



Category: due South
Genre: Cliche, Community: ds_aprilfools, Fuckbuddies, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-04-13
Updated: 2011-04-18
Packaged: 2017-10-18 00:43:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/183115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tatau/pseuds/Tatau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray foolishly declares that he’s looking for a fuck-buddy and Fraser volunteers</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

****

**Disclaimer: Due South is the property of Alliance Atlantis. Written for fun not for profit**

 **Notes: Written for the [ds_aprilfools](http://community.livejournal.com/ds_aprilfools/) round 2011, Prompt 21: casual**  
 **Summary: Ray foolishly declares that he’s looking for a fuck-buddy and Fraser volunteers  
Status: Part 1 (of probably 4)**  
 **Warnings** : Cliché like whoa... the jury is still out on whether that’s better or worse

 **Feedback Welcome!**

 **  
**
    
    
     **- Monday, Ray’s living room, end of shift -**

  
“Fraser, how often do I have to tell ya? You don’t do casual, exclamation mark!” Ray shouted in frustration.

Fraser’s brow creased in annoyance.

“And how would you know that, Ray, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Garrrhhh!” Ray felt a gigantic headache coming on, just great.

“We’ve been over this, dammit! Because you—“ he stabbed at Fraser with two fingers of his left hand, “do nothing by halves. You want the whole shebang, the romance, the feelings, the wining and dining, the—“

Fraser didn’t even let him finish. “I find this tremendously presumptuous on your part, Ray.”

Why, oh why, did Ray have to confess to the Mountie that his pathetic sex life was driving him batshit? Even though he supposed that something as non-existent as his sex life couldn’t even _be_ pathetic for lack of, uh, existing.

Ah yes, he remembered there was a reason why he didn’t drink around Fraser.
    
    
     **- Last Saturday, Ray’s apartment, 1:24 am,**  
     **2 shots of whiskey and 3 and a half beer later –**

  
He wasn’t even all that drunk, not yet anyway. Maybe one more and then he would be… that didn’t sound like such a bad idea.

God, he was so damn tired of being his own fate’s private jester. He felt sorry for himself and self-pity wasn’t all that high up on his list of attractive features.

Ray needed a woman… sex, with anyone, didn’t really matter with whom. Last guy was quite awhile ago but Ray figured his body would probably still know what to do.

And hey, why not call it a party and invite every one of Ray’s friends over to witness Ray’s new all-time low – which basically meant the Mountie because Ray didn’t have that many friends.

At least he had the divorce and his life as Ray Vecchio to blame for that. A man who can smile when something goes wrong knows who to blame for it. He grinned with a bitter touch.

So this was basically exactly what happened. As if the Mountie had sensed that Ray was sinking he had dropped by just in time for the climax of Ray’s pity party. Greatness, and here he had thought he couldn’t sink any lower.

But of course, Fraser was full of sympathy and even though he really couldn’t approve of Ray’s alcohol abuse, yadda yadda da, he understood, really.

Yeah… right.

This understanding was Ray’s downfall for it had him spilling his guts even though he really hadn’t intended to because Ray was a champion in wallowing in self-pity – he had the scars to prove it – he was second to none when it came to spending some quality time being miserable.

But Fraser had these big, ‘lay it all on me’ eyes and was acting all comforting and it felt nice so Ray thought ‘what the hell’.

What the hell indeed had possessed him to entrust Fraser with the knowledge of his favorite coping mechanism?

It went something like this:

“Ray, don’t you know that I am familiar with loneliness?”

And Ray had bitched back that, yeah, he knew, but loneliness wasn’t exactly what he was talking about here.

“Ah. So what is it you are talking about then?”

“Sex.” Yeah, Ray knew, too, that this was the moment of his doom.

There went the rub of the eyebrow and the licking of the lips.

“I see. Anything in particular?” Fraser said all ‘I-might-have-read-some-scientific-article-on-the-topic’ like.

And Ray was maybe a little bit drunk because he was so sick of it and Fraser had asked for it, after all.

He took a deep breath and sighed.

“I need a fuck-buddy.”

Fraser’s eyebrows flew up. “Ah,” he sounded a little shocked.

“Yeah, didn’t want to offend you with my crude lingo or anything. It’s just…” Ray waved his hand around in a remarkably eloquent gesture, “every man needs sex, right?”

“Well—“ Fraser started to say but Ray wasn’t really waiting for an answer. He was on a roll here and he even had an audience for it.

“And I’m a man so I need sex… now and again anyway. But relationships are a lot of work and my luck seems to be in really bad shape and I’m damaged goods anyway,” Ray went on.

“Ray, I don’t think—“ Fraser tried to get a word in but he was again interrupted by Ray.

“No, no, you see, I don’t even need a relationship. Not worth the hassle anyway. But god… I’d like a fuck. Just a casual thing… you know? Heh, maybe not,” Ray smirked.

“Whatever, it works for me. Maybe with someone who likes me, or even finds me attractive? Just a bit?” Ray sounded wistful und Fraser looked deeply hurt on his friend’s behalf.

“I think you’re selling yourself short. A relationship—“

“Is not what I need right now, Fraser. I need sex. I need bone deep exhaustion after a good fuck,” Ray interjected.

Fraser opened his mouth and closed it again a second later.

“Ah, do you have any preference for this kind of arrangement?” Fraser asked in a serious voice.

Ray thought about this for a while but the alcohol was making his brain a bit sluggish.

“Nah, don’t think so. Could be anyone… at least, could be right now.”

“I see.” There was moment’s pause. “Even me?”

And Ray couldn’t help it he broke into peals of laughter, real guffaws until the tears started to stream down his cheeks. Fraser? Yeah, right.

Fraser looked hurt and Ray tried to get a grip.

“Sorry, buddy, didn’t wanna hurt your feelings here but you did listen to me, right? About the sex stuff and everything?”

Fraser looked annoyed.

“Yes, Ray. You said you wanted to have meaningless sex with someone, and that it could very well be anyone available. So I ask you again, what about me?”

Ray blinked. And blinked again. Fraser was still sitting in front of him in his own living room. He was not hallucinating this.

“Uhm… you? Wanna have sex with me?”

“This is what I have been offering, yes,” Fraser explained as if to someone a bit slow.

“But why?” Ray spluttered.

“I like you, I happen to find you attractive and… I am acquainted with loneliness, Ray,” Fraser said this like it was completely obvious why he should offer.

Which it was not. Definitely not.

“Now?” Ray almost shouted he was so taken aback by the offer.

“Well,” Fraser rubbed his eyebrow again, “it would seem appropriate to wait for you to be sober. I wouldn’t want to feel I was taking advantage of your inebriated state.”

“Uh-hu,” Ray said dumbfounded.

“Frase… you don’t do casual sex,” he said gently. Because he felt that, hey, at least one of them should remind him.

“And you happen to be an expert on this, I take it?” And who would’ve thought the Mountie would get snarky?

Ray blushed slightly.

“Hey… you’re always going on about ‘prudence’ and ‘courtesy’ and ‘proper preparation’… I don’t see you having a fling with some chick… uh… or guy I guess.”

“I assure you I am capable of limiting my affection to a purely physical level,” he seemed to debate something before he corrected, “to sex.”

Ray’s eyes felt as wide as saucers and he wasn’t sure if that was because Fraser had just said ‘sex’ or if it was because he was talking about casual sex in general or even because it had sounded as if Fraser might have more ‘affection’ for him.

“Fraser…. This is a stupid idea.”

“Would you care to elaborate on the flaws in this plan? It fits all the requirements and it consists of fully willing participants.”

Ray gaped at Fraser.

“Tell you what; let’s talk about this when I’m sober because right now this makes entirely too much sense.”

And that had been it for the night. But Fraser had brought it up again on Sunday and Ray had been seriously tempted to call the guys with the straightjackets because that was more than a little unhinged, especially for Fraser.
    
    
     **- Monday, Ray’s living room, shortly before 6 pm –**

  
“You wanna fuck me, Fraser? You wanna get down and dirty with me? Or even better yet, you wanna be writhing beneath me? Sucking my dick until you choke?”

Ray was appalled by his own behavior but he needed Fraser to _get this_ , this wasn’t a walk in the park they were talking about.

And if it took hurting him then God help him, he would.

But Fraser only looked angry.

“Ray, it is completely unnecessary to make this arrangement sound so degrading. I can assure you that I am fully aware what you meant when you said that you wanted to have casual sex.”

Ray’s mouth opened and closed without a sound coming out. He could not believe that he was having this discussion with _Fraser_ of all people.

He needed to find the right words that would make Fraser realize what a moronic idea this was.

“What if I want it degrading, huh? What if I want it harsh and dirty, Fraser? Because I tell you, we can just leave it alone and no one has to get hurt.”

Fraser had that stubborn glint in his eyes that Ray hated, hated, hated because he always lost against it and it was driving him _insane_ \- which was probably a good thing ‘cause if this continued he could definitely use a bit insanity to battle all of this weirdness.

“Well, Ray, why don’t we find out? Which I am quite sure I have been offering for the last two days.”

Ray was speechless for a second.

“You wanna bet on this? You wanna bet that you can do casual?” He challenged.

“Ray, you know very well that I don’t gamble,” Fraser retorted.

“Too ba—“

“Fine,” Fraser ground out.

And before he could think about it, Ray had fisted his hand into Fraser’s tunic and pulled him close for a bruising kiss.  


### End Part 1

  
  


  



	2. Chapter 2


    **- Monday, the hallway to Ray’s bedroom, approx.6.30pm -**

  
He slammed Fraser back against the nearest wall and shoved his tongue into Fraser’s mouth without any finesse. If Fraser thought he could handle this, okay, Ray would show him.

Fraser stood completely passive but he let Ray’s tongue in and Ray plundered his mouth without the least bit of care.

He pushed his hand down and groped Fraser’s crotch roughly through the damn pumpkin pants. Despite Ray’s lack of gentleness Fraser was hard against his hand.

Ray pushed his hand harder against Fraser’s erection and bit viciously at his lips. And Fraser wasn’t doing anything to stop him… God, what a rush of power… Ray felt lightheaded with the sudden control he had.

He pushed his tongue deeper into Fraser’s mouth and tried to find the button of Fraser’s pants without looking; he fumbled for a moment before he groaned in frustration and gave up.

“Damn it! Get undressed,” he snapped at Fraser.

The Mountie gave a jerky little nod and proceeded to remove the lanyard and to unbutton his tunic. He pulled it off and let it dropto the floor and the Henley wasn’t far behind.

Ray stood a foot away and watched Fraser with crossed arms. Fraser bent down to undo his laces. Ray tapped impatiently with his foot even though he had to admit that he was quite impressed with the speed with which Fraser could undress.

The boots and the socks went next to the shirt on the ground. Fraser stood up to undo his breeches but Ray didn’t want to wait anymore.

He clutched Fraser’s upper arms and pushed him right back against the wall. Ray heard the ‘thud’ when Fraser’s head hit the wall behind him but he didn’t care.

He pressed against Fraser’s body, only clad in a shirt and his stupid pants, and claimed Fraser’s bruised looking lips for another kiss. His tongue probed as deep as he could go, relishing in Fraser’s submission.

Ray released Fraser’s lips and turned Fraser’s head roughly to the side to bite at his throat and –

It hit Ray with the force of an oncoming train just how he was behaving.

Ray pulled away from Fraser with a horrified gasp…

“Oh God…” What was he doing?? His eyes snapped up to meet Fraser’s.

He expected to see hurt, mostly anger, and maybe even disgust.

Instead Fraser looked quiet and serious - a bit the worse for wear when you considered his red, bitten lips and his disheveled hair - but neither shocked nor about to sock him.

“I—“ Ray started to say, he didn’t even know what, sorry perhaps. He wrapped his arms around himself in a defensive gesture.

Fraser’s eyes lit up with intent and he crossed the newly created distance between them with one purposeful stride until he was pressed close against Ray.

Ray swallowed and Fraser…. Fraser smirked. Lightening quick Fraser had Ray’s wrists in a death grip above Ray’s head and with little effort he walked Ray backwards until he hit the wall on the opposite side of the hallway.

Ray was about to tell Fraser where he could put his bossy attitude when he felt Fraser’s lips hot against his own. And Fraser wasn’t gentle either, he pushed his tongue between Ray’s lips to taste every spot in Ray’s mouth with punishing force, with bites and licks and with no hesitation whatsoever and Ray started panting, _god_ , he hadn’t known that he actually had a thing for angry kissing.

Fraser licked at his lips before he gave them a sharp nip. Ray cried out and Fraser had the audacity to smile self-satisfied.

Ray struggled against Fraser’s grip but there was no slack and it only ended with a tighter grip on Fraser’s part - who knocked his wrists once against the wall – just in case Ray hadn’t gotten the message who was in control here.

Fraser’s other hand reached down to cup him through his jeans and Ray had no other choice but to moan into Fraser’s mouth that had sealed itself over his lips again.

Fraser pulled his lips away and stroked again over Ray’s jeans clad erection.

“You had a lot of things in mind Ray, anything in particular that you want to try?”

And the bastard sounded so damn cocky that Ray felt pretty damn sure that the whole Mountie thing he usually pulled was just an act.

Fraser’s nimble fingers were already opening Ray’s jeans and when he reached inside Ray almost came off the wall.

“Ahh…” he croaked, trying to push his dick into Fraser’s hands.

Fraser teased the head of Ray’s cock patiently through his shorts.

“What’s it going to be, Ray?” And suddenly Ray’s mouth was full of tongue again and he groaned into the sensation. He had never felt anything as erotic as Fraser’s tongue against his own and Fraser had one hell of a pushy tongue.

Wet and messy and frickin’ perfect… Fraser pulled away again with one last lick to the corner of Ray’s mouth.

“You!” Ray groaned out.

Fraser smiled indulgently, apparently that much was obvious.

Ray gnashed his teeth together in sudden anger. “Fuck you!” he bit out and struggled uselessly against Fraser’s grip for the second time.

Fraser nodded as if Ray had made a particularly tasty decision.

“Very well.”

Ray’s eyes almost bugged out of his head. Fraser was— Fraser was offering that?

Fraser released his grip and pulled his shirt over his head. Ray could only stare at the smooth expanse of Fraser’s chest that was suddenly exposed.

Before he could touch, however, Fraser’s hands were already unbuttoning his breeches and shoving them down his legs.

Ray felt an itch in his hands to touch the man in front of him and he was absolutely helpless to stop it.

He pushed at Fraser’s shoulder and pinned him against the floor. Ray moved down on top of him, one leg between Fraser’s, pressing against his groin and all of a sudden Ray needed to taste him again.

So he delved right back into that inviting mouth and Fraser tongue came out to greet him and Ray moaned… god… he couldn’t remember the last time he had been so turned on.

He moved his hands all over Fraser’s body, mapping every inch, crawling underneath the remaining fabric to stroke and scratch at the skin there and Fraser pushed up against him and whimpered softly.

Ray pulled back to divest Fraser of his shirt and a second later he pulled his shorts off.

Benton Fraser, member of the RCMP, sprawled naked on Ray’s linoleum floor in the middle of his hallway.

And he had never looked so good.

He didn’t even look shy under Ray’s hungry gaze. He simply spread his legs a little wider and moved his hand once, slowly, over his own cock.

Ray moaned at the sight and bent down to give it a short lick. Fraser made a breathless noise and Ray licked his lips, tracing the taste.

He moved down again, pressing his fully clad body on top of Fraser’s and the whole vulnerability of this scene was turning Ray on like crazy.

Fraser groaned at the feeling of Ray’s rough clothing against his skin. He pulled the other leg out from underneath Ray to wrap both legs around Ray’s hip – and then he rocked upwards.

Ray cried out and Fraser shuddered for a moment and bit his lip.

“God, I want to fuck you,” Ray gasped.

Fraser sounded choked off when he whispered “Now.”

Ray nodded frantically and tried to help Fraser up from the floor.

Fraser went into the bedroom and lay down on the bed. Ray thought for a second about leaving his clothes on… it would make the whole thing even dirtier… but that didn’t seem fair and Ray was a sucker for skin on skin contact anyway.

He undressed and once he had gotten his shirt over his head he almost stumbled. Fraser had taken the lube out of his bedside drawer and had slicked up his fingers with it.

Ray’s jaw dropped open. With a daring smile Fraser moved his hand between his legs and… pushed in. Ray’s breathing stuttered.

Fraser’s eyes closed but his fingers continued to penetrate him with deep, even strokes. He had put two fingers inside of him… and easily at that.

“Frase?” Ray’s voice sounded like sandpaper.

“Ah… mhm….?” Fraser moaned softly and Ray felt a tingle down his spine at the sound.

“I would’ve… “ Ray tried to finish the sentence but Fraser added a third finger, gasping for breath, with trembling legs and all of a sudden Ray’s mouth was too dry to go on.

“Ahh… it only takes…mh… an extra second-d… Ray!... hr… to be courteous.”

Ray was positively sure that he would never have enough spit in his mouth to swallow properly ever again.

His legs carried him closer to the bed on his own accord.

“I’m all outta seconds here, Frase,” he murmured and reached for the bottle of lube. He coated his own fingers.

He moved his hand right next to Fraser’s.

“Let me…” His voice was almost all moans.

Fraser withdrew his hand with a whimper and Ray had to close his eyes for a second to pull his shit together.

He pushed three fingers in as far as they would go, which was further than Fraser himself had been able to reach, and then he started a scissoring motion. Fraser almost came off the bed.

“AH! Ray!”

Ray’s cock felt heavy between his legs and Ray had to swallow a couple of times to get his breathing under control.

“I-I need, Fraser… I need,” Ray gasped.

“Yes… Ray… “ and Fraser drew his name out and spread his legs even further.

Ray pulled his hand away and moved on top of Fraser. He looked at Fraser’s face and was momentarily speechless when he saw the look on his face. Completely fucked out, there wasn’t a single clever sentence left.

That looked like pure feeling and Ray was a bit proud to have put that expression there.

He slicked his cock up and positioned himself. He pushed in slowly but it was still a tight fit.

He looked at Fraser’s strained face and bent down to press a few kisses to Fraser’s sweat soaked chest.

“Hey…” he murmured. “Relax, Fraser… ‘m not going to hurt ya…” Fraser smiled slightly.

“I know, Ray.” And he sounded so damn sure that Ray felt weak in the knees for a second.

But it still seemed to hurt so Ray stretched carefully to plant a kiss on Fraser’s lips.

His lips moved softly against Fraser’s and he couldn’t remember if they had kissed this gently before… Fraser’s lips felt as soft as silk from all the wetness, “Fraser…” he whispered, “God, you’re so beautiful…” and Ray felt how he could push slightly deeper, how Fraser tried to relax.

“Let go…” he whispered and then on sudden inspiration he added “Ben…” and Fraser gasped and the kiss turned suddenly urgent and Ray’s arms were shaking with the effort not to move but Fraser hooked his legs behind Ray’s back and _pulled_ and Ray cried out.

“Oh god… Fraser… Ben… so good…”

And Fraser was chanting his own litany, “Ray, Ray, Ray, Ray…” over and over again.

Ray moved Ben’s left leg over his shoulder and felt his dick slide in that inch deeper. He gasped and moved down to kiss Fraser again.

It was a bit uncomfortable from the angle but it was a need that Ray had to satisfy, there was no maybe about it.

On the next in-stroke Fraser froze and moaned loudly. Ray tried to grin but it looked more like a grimace from the effort to keep going

Ray tried to keep the angle going and if Fraser’s yells were anything to go by he was rather successful at it.

Languidly, Fraser opened his eyes again. Ray gasped at the desire he saw there, he literally drowned in it. “Ray…please,” Fraser moaned softly and Ray nodded, completely speechless.

His fingers curled around Fraser’s cock and pumped in time to his thrusts. He slammed in again and Fraser arched his back and came with a shout.

Ray was pretty sure that he would never forget this image of Fraser, squeezing his eyes closed, mouth open and lips red, shouting for release with every muscle tightly wound.

He was so mesmerized that his own orgasm almost took him by surprise. The sheer force from it felt to Ray as if it had been pulled up from underneath his feet.

He collapsed on top of Fraser who closed his arms around him and whispered nonsensical stuff into his ear, “thank you…”, “so good…”, “…oh, Ray…”

Ray must have drifted off for when he opened his eyes the next time he was alone in his bed.
    
    
     **- Tuesday, Ray’s bed, way before dawn -**

  
He swallowed the sudden stale taste in his mouth down and looked around… not because he was hoping that Fraser was still there, just to make sure that he had left.

Yep, no question about it. The apartment was as quiet as a church and all of Fraser’s clothes were gone.

Ray felt hollow.

But that had nothing to do with Fraser’s departure. He was hungry… probably. Or he still needed a few hours of sleep.

Ray was fine with Fraser leaving. This had been a casual fling, he had not expected cuddling or breakfast together.

He had not.

Not even a little.


	3. Chapter 3


    **- Tuesday, Ray’s bed, 6 a.m. on the dot -**

  
Ray killed the alarm and groaned… Jesus… but he had slept great. A grin crept onto his features of its own accord. No wonder, a night of mind blowing sex did that to a guy. **  
**

He managed to get out of bed and hit the ‘on’ button on the coffee machine on his way under the shower.

While he worked the conditioner into his air he started to feel the first twinge of apprehension about the upcoming morning at the station.

Ray hadn’t exactly lied to Fraser, more like he hadn’t bothered to tell him – heh, Fraser might appreciate the difference – that his last one night stand had been quite a while ago and that he maybe had two in total where he actually had to face his sex partner at a later point.

And one of those had been at the supermarket so they had grinned at each other without saying a word and moved to different aisles, no big deal.

The other one had been at a conference about information sharing and he had one day of the conference left when they had shagged.

Although… if Ray were to be truthful, which he thought he could cope with seeing that he was alone in his shower, that had not been exactly a one night stand… not from his perspective.

But the lady had made that real clear over the course of the last conference day. The cold from that shoulder could have started a new ice age and Ray may not be a subtle guy but he could take a hint, thank you all to hell.

Bottom line: He had no idea how you faced a co-worker you had just shagged rotten the night before.

While he toweled himself off he came to the conclusion that having sex with Fraser – while really, really big on the satisfaction scale – wasn’t the smartest thing he had ever done.

Good thing he had never claimed to be the brightest crayon in the box.

Ray shrugged into his clothes and threw a few smarties into his coffee. He watched them dissolve and made up his mind. He wouldn’t make fun of Fraser for having problems with this casual thing.

Ray wouldn’t even rub his nose in it… much.

He would just ignore it when Fraser stared too long at him or said stuff that referred to last night. Ray could be the bigger man here; he wasn’t going to hold Fraser to the stupid bet.

He downed the rest of his coffee and drove over to the station. Ray was still a tiny bit unsure about their first meeting but this was Fraser… compared to Fraser’s understandable freakout Ray’s probably didn’t even register.
    
    
     **- 27 th Police Department, bullpen, 2 p.m. -**

  
Ray was busy with a report and a bottle of whiteout – well, technically he was busy with a bottle of whiteout since there wasn’t much of a report left due to the massive amount of white patches on the paper by the time Fraser arrived.

“Hello, Ray,” Fraser said like he had countless times before and Ray’s head snapped up.

He had expected an I-am-so-incredibly-happy-to-see-you-smile or something as sappy as a wink or any of Fraser’s nervous gestures – hell, all of them combined even.

What Ray had seriously not expected was Fraser to look all… normal. He didn’t fidget, he didn’t _look_ nervous and his face didn’t even appear carefully blank like it did when he was trying to hide something, he simply appeared content, serious and focused.

Ray hated him; just a little.

‘Breathe…’ he told himself. Had he known that this would become his mantra for the rest of the day he might have picked something a bit more creative.

This day was an utter nightmare – or to use the words Mr. Benton Dictionary Fraser would probably choose, which only seemed fair for Ray to borrow since Fraser obviously knew all about causing one, it was an ‘unmitigated disaster’.

Fraser appeared completely unfazed and Ray got jitterier with every passing hour.

He almost jumped out of his skin when Fraser leaned over him to push the button on the printer – _yes_ , Ray knew that Fraser had done this a million times before and it had never meant anything then either, _thank you_!

Ray clenched his teeth, thought again ‘breathe, just breathe’ and tried to ignore the heat of Fraser’s body – did that man have to function like his own bloody furnace? – and he stubbornly ignored the way Fraser’s tongue came out again and again and again whenever he came upon something of interest in one of the files.

He didn’t see it, not even a _glimpse_ , and he worked hard at that, _dammit_! Deep breaths… there you go, that’s the ticket.

He also ignored the way Fraser filled out his uniform… and the fact that Ray now knew exactly how he got out of it at night… or the way Fraser said his name – which was in all fairness completely innocent but it ambushed Ray’s mind with images of Fraser _writhing_ beneath him and screaming his name and that just wasn’t fair play! How much could a single guy suffer and survive?

Ray remembered to ‘breathe’ a few seconds before he started to turn blue.

Ray briefly entertained the idea of looking ‘spontaneous combustion’ up on the sole principle that he would like to be prepared for at least one, single fucking thing today and this might help him to come to terms with the fate that awaited him.

This ignoring business worked just swell… if only with the slight downside that he actually didn’t manage to get a single thing Fraser was saying… or doing… because he was so busy not noticing it.

It got so bad that he heard stuff simply because he wanted to hear it.

“Ray, would you like to—“ Fraser asked concerned.

“—take me back to your place of residence after the end of your shift? I feel confident that you could provide us with some very… pleasurable… activities for stress relief,” Ray had to concentrate not to groan aloud.

His own mind was fucking with him… which, as it turned out, wasn’t much fun despite what Ray might have been led to believe.

“Huh?” He pressed out, trying to shut the voice inside of his head out.

“Ray, are you alright? You seem terribly distracted. I wanted to know if you would prefer to save the witness interview for tomorrow since it is already rather late.”

Ray nodded. He didn’t trust himself to speak… who knew what might come out?

Ray didn’t care that it wasn’t _exactly_ 5 pm but the moment he realized that he was rubbing his wrists where Fraser had gripped him yesterday he knew that he had to get the hell outta there, like, _ages_ ago.
    
    
     **- Tuesday, Ray’s couch, 8 p.m. –**

  
Ray desperately wanted a beer but since he mostly blamed this whole disaster on the alcohol he decided to give it the cold shoulder treatment.

Let’s see how it liked that… messing with his life this way. He gave the beer bottles in his fridge the evil eye.

So he lay sprawled on his couch with the remains of a cold pizza next to him on the coffee table.

This was _not_ casual. He knew how to spell ‘casual’ and no way did that include fantasizing the living daylights out of some guy who had no interest in a repetition; or salivating all over himself just thinking about getting Fraser naked again.

This was so not the way casual was spelled. Casual was more like a, uh… a…carefree adventure… sex, of course… and undemanding, amazing lust. There, that’s how you spelled casual.

This was more like complete, overpowering madness… or something. He was pretty sure that he could come up with more words given enough time.

It was definitely the right time for a wank. Maybe all of this crazy would vanish afterwards and leave him in peace.

One thing Ray Kowalski absolutely knew for sure was that this could not go on.

He would put his foot down. Tomorrow Ray would get a grip on himself and everything would go back to normal.

Sometimes drastic measures had to be taken.

…and it was good thing for Ray’s peace of mind that he didn’t yet know just how drastic those were going to be.

   
 **End Part 3**


	4. Chapter 4


    **- Wednesday, Ray’s living room, 7 p.m. –**

  
Ray was fucked. There was no maybe about it. Today had been hell… only less fun.

He had done his utmost to concentrate on his behavior and he had even succeeded. …if succeeded meant that he hadn’t begged Fraser to fuck him right over his desk, then yes, Ray was one hell of a success.

In all other instances he had survived, barely. God, he hated his life.

It wasn’t even that Fraser behaved like an asshole, ‘cause he didn’t, it was just that he didn’t behave different in any way and – _yes_ , Ray knew that this was the whole _point_ of ‘casual’, the irony did not escape him – yet it was still getting on Ray’s nerves.

What? Had their fuck left so little impression on Fraser? He had heard Fraser _beg_ for it; that must’ve been worth _something_!

God, had he been so average that Fraser didn’t even think twice about it? - Because Ray couldn’t think of anything but their night together.

At first Ray had tried to do it like Fraser; pretend it never happened.

Only, Ray had never been so good at ignoring the stuff that was bothering him. Ray Kowalski? Not a really repressed kinda guy. He had learned at the ‘in your face’ school of motivational behavior.

So after lunch he had tried to push Fraser. But when had that ever worked?

Ray sighed… he should’ve known that it was completely useless to flirt with Fraser. The Mountie had looked as if Ray had lost the rest of his bird brain somewhere between the diner where they had lunch and the witness in interrogation room #2. Or maybe he had been plain confused… with Fraser it was sometimes hard to tell.

And during that interrogation Ray had what had felt like an epiphany back then. When he told the suspect that she didn’t have to prove anything to anyone he figured that this was the solution to all of his problems, a really smooth one at that.

So he got a coffee for himself and a tea for Fraser and there was no one in the break room since it was shortly before the end of shift.

He had taken a deep breath and tried to look all understanding and magna-whatsit about it.

“Hey Frase,” he had said.

“You’ve won. It’s okay, I know.”

And Ray had felt really proud of himself for being such a damn good guy about it.

But did Fraser appreciate it? _No_ of course not. Fraser had looked at him in that I’m-sure-this-makes-sense-on-your-little-planet-smile and said “I see.”

So Ray got all defensive and started jabbing his fingers at Fraser.

“Yeah, you know… the bet. The bet that you couldn’t do casual, I get it, alright?” Ray managed to get out.

And Fraser’s face cleared up and he had looked mighty relieved that Ray had cleared this confusion up – and that he wasn’t in fact unhinged, smiled and said “Ah, thank you, Ray.”

And nothing changed. It was almost enough for Ray to tear his own hair out.

Ray was quiet for a moment. The CD he had put on changed the track and suddenly Glenn Miller’s ‘In the Mood’ filled Ray’s living room.

He groaned. Yeah, he was in a mood alright. No reason to rub it in.

This wasn’t only complete, overpowering madness anymore; it had slowly evolved into monstrous, intolerable torture. It couldn’t get much worse, could it?

Honestly, something had to give.
    
    
     **- Thursday, 27 th PD, the supply closet, 4.55 p.m. –**

  
“Ray—what—?” Fraser tried to protest when Ray shoved him into the supply closet.

Ray was at the end of his rope. This had to stop. Sure, Fraser didn’t know what his damn lip licking did to Ray, and he didn’t know either what kind of reaction his focused gaze produced – and Ray was not about to tell him.

Talking was overrated. Ray tried to tell people that all the time.

And Ray had been good, exceptionally so, even. He knew that he only needed to prevail for 5 more minutes before he could escape to the relative safety of his own apartment.

He simply couldn’t. Ray was doneski and he didn’t even care anymore.

Fraser had done that lip thing again and said to him “Ray, would you mind giving me—“

And Ray’s brain had pushed into overdrive. He didn’t care that Fraser in all probability hadn’t been about to say “giving me a handjob” because he couldn’t take it anymore.

So he had tugged on Fraser’s tunic and had pulled him into the supply closet – it said a lot about Fraser and Vecchio that the few people who were present in the bullpen didn’t even bat an eye at this behavior.

As soon as the door was closed he pushed Fraser against the shelves and went straight for his lips.

Fraser lips were soft and yielding beneath his and there was no resistance when Ray pushed his tongue in.

God… he needed this. The moment his tongue touched Fraser’s he groaned into Fraser’s mouth. But that was alright because Fraser’s hands came around his back to hold him.

The kiss was frantic and Ray felt momentarily dazed by the intensity of it. He reached down to open Fraser’s pants. The rush of knowing how to get them open felt spectacular – even more so when he succeeded.

And Fraser was hard and willing and Ray… oh god, Ray tried to stay focus here but it wasn’t easy… not with Fraser biting his lip and moaning ever so softly.

Ray went for Fraser’s lips once more. He felt the tender skin give beneath his own lips and the wetness of Fraser’s tongue felt like a shock to his own heightened arousal. Fraser gasped against his lips only to push his tongue deeper into Ray’s mouth seconds later.

All the while Ray’s hand moved frantically over Fraser’s dick. There was a shudder in Fraser’s breathing and Ray was suddenly very aware that they were standing in the middle of the supply closet and that Fraser was about to come, thanks to his own efforts.

So he dropped to his knees and he couldn’t even remember the last time he had given a blow job but he wrapped his lips around Fraser’s dick and swirled his tongue around it and Fraser gave a strangled sound that might have been Ray’s name at one point.

Ray’s cheeks hollowed and he pushed his tongue roughly against the underside of Fraser’s cock and Fraser whispered “Ray” in that pitiful way and Ray knew what to expect and still he had to concentrate not to choke on Fraser’s come when he shot down his throat.

He stood up and sought Fraser’s lips again. They were warm and Ray pressed closer against Fraser, wanting Fraser to taste himself and Fraser moaned in the back of his throat.

Ray released Fraser’s lips again and panted for air… God, his own arousal was killing him.

“Ray—“ and Fraser reached for Ray’s jeans but Ray was painfully aware of where they were and this wasn’t what he wanted anyway.

“Fraser, come home with me?” he asked quietly.

Ray had suspected that Fraser might play hard to get. He had pictured Fraser acting reluctant. He had figured that the Mountie might even start discussing the moral issues of this idea.

But when he looked at Fraser he realized that the Mountie was doing his best to impersonate a deer caught in the headlights. Why would Fraser look scared?

This didn’t make any sense.

 **End of Part 4**


	5. Chapter 5


    **- Thursday, 27 th PD, supply closet, 5.15 p.m. **  
    **post-orgasm –**

  
“Fraser, come home with me?” he asked quietly.

The silence was deafening and silence was never a good thing in Ray’s book. Ray felt stupid for putting it out there but he wanted Fraser at home in his bed so much and he hadn’t really believed that Fraser might turn him down.

“Uh… only if you want to. There’s no pressure or anything… I just, uh, I’d,” he swallowed nervously, “I’d like you to come home with me.”

Fraser seemed to come out of his stupor. But he looked puzzled at the prospect. Ray was sure that he should feel insulted but the nervousness was drowning all other emotions out.

It was too late now to take it back anyway…heh, if people could unspeak they’d do it every 30 seconds. Ray knew he would.

“For more casual sex?” Somehow Fraser managed to make ‘casual’ sound like a dirty word.

“Of course I mean sex, Fraser. If I had wanted to invite you over for pizza I would’ve done so without putting you in a closet,” Ray said exasperated. Fraser could be so dense when he wanted to.

“Ah. Alright,” Fraser agreed.

“Greatness,” Ray answered even though it sure didn’t feel like it. This was beginning to feel like a pity fuck and he had had enough of those to know that you always felt worse afterwards but he seemed quite helpless to stop himself from going there again.
    
    
     **- Thursday, Ray’s bedroom, 6 p.m. -**

  
Ray felt awkward and didn’t even know why. He had wanted another round of naked wonder with Benton Fraser and now he was about to get his wish fulfilled.

Maybe it was that Fraser looked all official in his red uniform or the fact that he didn’t smile or _talk_. Instead Fraser had displayed all of his nervous ticks on the ride to Ray’s apartment and Ray didn’t get it, _now_ Fraser was nervous?

Fraser stood in Ray’s bedroom, cracked his neck and started undressing. Just like that. Ray was about to combust after all.

Ray felt incredibly daring to watch Fraser like that. It felt as if he had ordered a rentboy and today’s theme was Mountie, tomorrow he would have arrived in a priest getup or something along the same lines.

Fraser was looking directly at him while piece after piece was removed, folded and placed on the chair at the door.

All of a sudden Fraser had nothing more to undress and he stood still and proud right in the middle of Ray’s living room – and Ray was still completely dressed; he had been so focused on watching Fraser he had all but forgotten that he, too, should strip if he wanted anything fun to happen.

But before Ray could blink out of his stare Fraser had already crossed the few feet dividing them. Ray could feel the heat radiating from Fraser from where he stood directly in front of him. His eyes locked on Fraser’s mouth that was now curved into a soft smile.

Fraser pressed flush against Ray and kissed him, deep and wet and Ray moaned softly into the kiss as Fraser probed deeper, entwining their tongues and Ray tried to get even closer to Fraser.

That man had skin better than any woman he had ever touched. Agile fingers started to undress Ray and he was all too willing to surrender. This was different from their first time, leisurely, unhurried and less of a battle.

Probably because Ray was a-okay with letting Fraser take charge here. After two days of thinking that Fraser didn’t wanna touch him again being the sole object of his attention was dizzying. Or maybe it was that Fraser seemed to look for cues from Ray... which didn’t make any sense; he hadn’t needed any pointers that first time either.

Fraser brushed his lips against Ray’s and murmured, “Ray…” and Ray couldn’t suppress the shiver that ran down his spine or the groan that was dragged from his lips.

Without any warning strong hands gripped Ray’s hips and lifted him up. Fraser pressed him against the wall and put Ray’s legs around himself.

Fraser’s eyes fixed on Ray and then he lifted his fingers to his mouth and started to suck on them. Ray gasped at the sight but Fraser only pushed his fingers deeper into his mouth.

They were glistening wet when he pulled them out again and Fraser looked seriously at Ray. Breathlessly, Ray nodded.

The first stretch of Fraser’s fingers drew a shuddering moan from Ray.

“So…good…” Ray gasped and Fraser kissed him again, hard and demanding and Ray wanted more of Fraser’s lips and his mouth…

Before long Ray was sweat soaked and shaking and still Fraser continued with the same driving rhythm of his fingers.

Ray was biting at Fraser’s lips, sucking on his tongue, _anything_ to get him to do something, anything.

Fraser withdrew his fingers and Ray whimpered. Fraser’s lips curled into a smug smile. He reached to the right and took a small bottle from the window sill.

Ray tried to come to terms with the fact that Fraser had brought his own lube with him and had even placed it on Ray’s window sill apparently without Ray’s knowledge… he guessed that he had had better things to stare at when Fraser had put it there.

Ray was panting by the time Fraser had coated his dick with the slippery lube.

“Shh… Ray,” Fraser murmured before he pressed his lips to Ray’s again and slowly breached him.

Fraser’s arms moved from Ray’s hips to underneath his knees and Ray felt suddenly open and vulnerable, the angle in which Fraser’s grip spread his legs was almost painful but perfect in counterpoint to the arousal spiking through him.

Fraser’s sweat soaked bangs were plastered to his forehead and his panting sounded ragged in Ray’s ears.

Fraser thrust into him again and again and Ray lost complete track of time and his surroundings… they might have been fucking for hours or less than 5 minutes he had no idea. All he knew was that Fraser’s rhythm was driving him insane.

He was _that_ close to coming and somehow it simply wasn’t enough. Fraser was pressed so close to him that his cock was rubbing against Fraser’s abdomen but he couldn’t get enough friction to send him over the edge.

And Fraser didn’t seem in any hurry to get him there.

Ray gasped brokenly, trying to get some much needed air into his abused lungs… “Ben… oh god, Ben… I…” and Fraser went wild. He slammed Ray against the wall again and gave a grunt before he claimed Ray’s lips with punishing force and thrust his cock into Ray again and again and suddenly Ray was right there—right on edge—and, “oh god,” he had wanted this so damn much and Fraser’s hips slammed into him again and Ray came with a final shout of “Ben!” and Fraser increased his rhythm and groaned harshly against the heated skin of Ray’s throat when he came.

This seemed to take all the starch out of Fraser. He hugged Ray tighter to himself and stumbled backwards towards the bed where he collapsed and toppled them both onto the mattress.

Ray didn’t care, he was fine where he was and he never wanted to move again. He found the edge of the sheet and pulled it over them.

This was perfect.

He wanted to say something to Fraser but he fell asleep before he could be sure if he had asked Fraser to stay.

He awoke again a few hours later to a cold bed… the Mountie had already left. Ray felt hurt. Why didn’t Fraser want to stay?
    
    
     **- Thursday, Ray’s kitchen, close to midnight –**

  
Ray heated some leftover Chinese and carried it with him to the couch. While he ate he tried to figure out how he could make this thing with Fraser work.

Why go for a one night stand when you could have great sex whenever you wanted? And Fraser was into this…

It shouldn’t be too hard to get Fraser to come back for more. If Fraser would only stop making this thing feel so… uncaring… that wasn’t the word he was looking for, he knew that, it just… why did Fraser leave when he had to walk all the way back to the consulate in the middle of the night when Ray could easily drop him off at work in the morning?

Maybe Fraser didn’t want even the tiniest bit of comfort with the sex? But Ray would have figured Fraser for a guy who appeared to his one night stand with flowers for the lady in question – well, that is if Ray had ever entertained the idea of Fraser having a fling.

Perhaps Fraser had some obnoxious Canadian reason for not staying after sex? God, trying to get inside Fraser’s mind was like biting at a brick wall – you knocked all of your teeth out while you were at it and afterwards you couldn’t even be sure that you penetrated it any.
    
    
     **- Friday night, Ray’s bedroom, around 11.30 p.m., post-coital glow –**

  
“Oh Lord,” Ray’s voice sounded raspy.

This was the closest his life had ever come to looking like a big box of awesome since his divorce had killed his feel good Fridays.

And being right was only the cherry on the cake. He had known that Fraser would go for it.

Of course, not letting Fraser any time to retreat had probably helped him along a little.

Ray had only waited for Fraser to get to the station that morning before he had pulled him into the supply closet again – maybe there was a weird reason why Fraser and talking, real talking not this anecdote shit he pulled all the time, was more compatible in the enclosed space of a closet?

Ray filed this away for later use. Next time he ended up in an argument with Fraser where he had no idea what had the Mountie all upset he would simply shove him into the next broom closet before even trying to understand.

It couldn’t make any less sense than the rest of Ray’s life.
    
    
     **- Friday, 27 th PD, supply closet, 10.30 a.m. -**

  
Fraser had looked exasperated at being manhandled into a cupboard again but before he could voice his annoyance in a long, endless, stream of words Ray put his hand over his mouth.

Fraser looked pretty much stunned by this development and Ray had to swallow a grin. Fraser was probably indignant about being treated this way. “Don’t argue,” Ray said quietly – but he left his hand over Fraser’s mouth on principle, sometimes Fraser had problems with definitions.

See, ‘don’t argue’ might have meant for Ray (and everyone else in Chicago) ‘do not speak, do not contradict me, do not be difficult, do not make my life hell’ and a lot of other stuff that started with ‘do not’ whereas Fraser might be under the delusion that Ray was simply asking him to phrase his answers in a more considerate manner – which didn’t change the content of what Fraser was about to say one bit, it only made it sound a whole lot more logical.

“I want you to come home with me tonight. I want you to fuck me till I can’t see straight anymore. I want to bend you over the back of my couch and have my wicked way with you until you’ve screamed yourself hoarse,” Ray’s smile looked decidedly dirty when he saw Fraser’s widening eyes.

“If you are amenable to this proposition I would thank you kindly for requiting my endeavor by either nodding or shaking your head,” Ray tried hard not to laugh at Fraser’s expression. Ha! Textbook-Ray, the secret weapon of doom.

Something wet came into contact with Ray’s hand and Ray moaned softly when he realized that Fraser was trying to lick his lips before answering. Fraser blushed slightly when he noticed what he was doing.

And then he nodded, once, but determined.

Ray was in an exceptionally good mood for the rest of the day. He couldn’t help grinning whenever he looked at Fraser. And while Fraser did look pleased at Ray’s infectious high spirits he also looked slightly confused whenever he looked at Ray.

But Fraser was always trying to figure something out so Ray felt confident that he would come out and say it whenever he had exhausted all other possibilities.

And Ray was a guy who followed through on his promises which was how Fraser ended up bent over the back of Ray’s couch less than 15 minutes after they had entered Ray’s flat because Ray had already been waiting for-fucking-ever and he wanted to hear Fraser pant and moan and just about lose it.

Turned out, getting fucked by Fraser in return was even better when he had totally lost control before. Ray would probably be sore for days but…god… Fraser whispering dirty stuff into his ear and telling him exactly what he was going to do to him… that was like red-hot fire pushing through Ray’s veins, making him beg with words, his body and everything else he had to offer.

Catching his breath seemed like a monumental achievement, one Ray wasn’t sure he was about master.

Okay, he had to admit what had started out as complete, overpowering madness and had more or less nose-dived into monstrous, intolerable torture those last few days had taken a detour to mind-boggling ecstasy; Ray could get behind this. He was the master of this particular merry-go-round.
    
    
     **- Friday, Ray’s bed, 11.45 p.m. –**

  
Ray stretched and tried to detach the sticky bed sheet from his left leg. There was rustling next to him as Fraser started to get out of bed.

Ray’s hand shot out like a flash and he gripped Fraser’s hand in an iron hold.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked suspiciously.

“Well, back to the consulate. Although I will have to get dressed first, obviously,” Fraser said carefully as if he wasn’t sure what Ray wanted to hear.

“Fraser… stay,” Ray said and it sounded more like an order than a request. “You don’t have to go, you can stay,” Ray repeated a bit more softly this time.

Fraser’s brow creased and he opened his mouth to reply.

Ray considered if he could drag Fraser into the built-in closet in the hallway before he managed to speak – probably not.

 **End Part 5**


	6. Chapter 6


    **- Friday, Ray’s bedroom, still 11.45 p.m. -**

  
Fraser rubbed his eyebrow and said in a bewildered tone, “Isn’t that against the rules, Ray?”

And Ray had already started to open his mouth to crush every argument Fraser might come up with when he closed it again in sudden confusion.

“What rules?”

“The, ah, the rules to this casual arrangement as I understood it,” Fraser said a little hesitantly.

Ray’s face cleared. This had to be good. “Why don’t you remind me, Frase?” He grinned affectionately.

Fraser looked slightly uncomfortable.

“Ah, as I have understood it this arrangement was supposed to be a non-recurring activity which was to be treated as non-existent on all later occasions. It did not entail romantic feelings, emotional utterances or a prolonged sojourn extending over the —“another rub to the eyebrow followed, “sexual gratification of said activity,” Fraser looked relieved once he had finished and Ray was grinning like a loon.

“You’re a freak,” Ray said still grinning.

“Understood,” Fraser answered reflexively even though he didn’t look like he really knew what Ray meant.

“There are no rules, Fraser. Usually, you just don’t stay because you don’t want them to think that you’re going to call them the day after,” he explained patiently.

“But you never call me, Ray. This expectation on my part would have been utterly unfounded,” Fraser said indignantly.

“No, heh, I know that. It’s not what I meant. It’s just that the no-staying-rule—“

“Ah, so you do admit that there is a rule,” Fraser interrupted and Ray shot him a dirty look.

“This no-staying- _business_ is just to make sure everyone knows it’s a one-time thing.”

“Which this isn’t,” Fraser felt the need to point out. Ray ground his teeth together; Fraser was like one of those things with a sucker for a mouth –what did you call those? – Right, he was a leech when it came to letting go of something – not without someone making him do it.

“Yeah, I know that,” Ray snapped. “Fuck-buddies have casual sex on more than one occasion, alright? And we both know that it ain’t awkward the morning after so you can just as well stay… if you want to,” Ray added hastily.

“I have a function at the consulate tomorrow morning, though. It wouldn’t be right for me to disturb—”

“It’s fine, trust me on this. I’ll get you there in time, I wanted to drop by at my parents’ anyway so don’t worry.”

Fraser looked much happier now that he had Ray’s definition. Freak had probably checked his own behavior every five seconds if he was doing this ‘casual’ thing correctly… no wonder he had driven Ray insane half the time and had looked confused the other half.

Ray would really like to see the reprimands Fraser had written himself over the last few days.

This problem eliminated had them both sharing a pizza at half past 12 in Ray’s kitchen before going for another round between the sheets.

 
    
    
     **- Thursday, Ray’s couch, 9.30 p.m. -**

  
It had been almost two weeks since they had started this and Ray had to admit that he was the happiest man on earth.

Well, almost the happiest man.

Okay, maybe he wasn’t exactly happy but he was content if not… argh, fuck all, this was driving him nuts!

The sex was great, mind-blowing even, never been better, no complaints. The partnership still had its mojo; they were a damn duet so that was greatness, too. The friendship worked well with this whole arrangement – now, see, this actually was a bit of an issue here – understatement of the fucking year.

Because Fraser seemed to be able of only being one or the other, either he was switched to ‘friend’ or he was tuned to ‘sex’.

It was like being able to choose either between all kinds of healthy, boring foods, like vegetables and fruit; or a greasy pizza with extra cheese and like a million toppings, so basically the whole shebang; without realizing that you could have an innocent little snack of milk and cookies in between no matter what you chose…

Yeah… okay… so his food analogies sucked, big deal.

Fine, Fraser was like a damn pressure gauge which only knew cold or hot and nothing in between… which Ray guessed made slightly more sense if he ever had to explain this to anyone – which hopefully he wouldn’t.

It was driving Ray mental. Either he could choose to watch something on the tube with Fraser but that meant no touching or kissing or anything even remotely like it because the moment he did stuff Fraser snapped into sex mode and dragged him off to the bedroom… or the next available surface.

He didn’t get it. He liked sex as much as the next guy but what was so horrible about a bit of harmless making out in front of the TV? Couldn’t they just enjoy a bit of a built-up, a little teasing, a little hum of arousal, and then fuck each other’s brains out later?

Ray liked touching and kissing – had always liked it – and he wasn’t above snuggling or cuddling either; he was a sensual guy he enjoyed pretty much everything that involved contact.

So when Ray leaned over to Fraser to nibble at his jaw and Fraser started to go directly for Ray’s hot spots he caught Fraser’s hands and held them still.

“Ray, what—?” Fraser asked confused.

“Shhh,” Ray whispered and nuzzled his cheek. He bit gently at Fraser’s ear before he pressed his lips against Fraser’s. They were warm and soft and Ray licked Fraser’s bottom lip before sneaking his tongue inside. Ray pushed his tongue a bit deeper, sliding against Fraser’s before he drew back a little to give that bottom lip a little bite.

Fraser moaned very, very softly and Ray released Fraser’s hands to rest both of his own along Fraser’s cheeks. He stroked his thumb softly over Fraser’s cheekbones and probed again deeper with his tongue.

He felt Fraser’s panting against his own lips and the heat increasing in Fraser’s cheeks. Ray drew Fraser’s tongue back into his own mouth and sucked softly on it.

Fraser explored his mouth with unconquered devotion and Ray pressed a little closer to Fraser, one hand moving to the back of Fraser’s head to stroke his nape and Fraser’s arms came around Ray to pull him even more tightly against him, his warm fingers drawing patterns over Ray’s back and sides.

When Fraser worried Ray’s lip with his crooked tooth Ray gasped and drew back a little. He smiled gently at Fraser, eyes shining with happiness and Fraser simply looked amazed, features soft with desire and tenderness and Ray pressed his lips to Fraser’s once more for a single, sweet kiss before he pulled back again.

Ray snuggled against Fraser’s side and pulled Fraser’s arms around him. He sighed contentedly.

“Ray?” Fraser whispered unsure.

“We’re snuggling, Fraser. A guy needs to wallow now and then. Let me wallow here for a minute.”

Ray could feel Fraser thinking even though his hands kept up a steady stroking motion along Ray’s side. And for sure it wasn’t more than 30 seconds before Fraser spoke again.

“I’m, well, to be honest I’m confused Ray. Is that also part of being ‘fuck-buddies’?” Fraser spoke the word as if he would dearly like some nicer expression for it.

Ray was silent for a long, long while. In all honesty he hadn’t thought about this when this thing had started, not even of the possibility. And he wasn’t sure how Fraser would react to it.

“Not exactly,” Ray said very quietly. Now it was Fraser’s part to be silent but Ray was sure that Fraser could figure this out, all you had to do was give the guy a chance to think it through.

The soft touch of Fraser’s warm hands never wavered which Ray hoped was a good sign.

“Ah, Ray…” Fraser lifted one hand to rub his eyebrow before he continued with his caress.

“If this isn’t exactly ‘friends that share a sexual compatibility’ and it isn’t exactly a casual one time occurrence either,” he paused again trying to choose his words carefully, “would you mind telling me what you consider the difference between,” he gestured between Ray and himself, “this, and a relationship?” Fraser’s voice sounded gentle as if he was trying not to spook Ray.

Ray was still lying pressed against Fraser with Fraser’s arms around him and he had no power to move away from him; he closed his eyes before he answered.

“Nothing, Fraser. There is no difference,” Ray sighed.

Because one thing he had realized over the course of the week was that this thing with Fraser might be complete, overpowering madness and monstrous, intolerable torture and even though it included mind-boggling ecstasy to make up for all the rest, it simply didn’t end with that.

It was more of a vicious circle, really. The more time you spent with the man the more time you needed to spend with him, the more you touched him, the more you wanted to keep doing it, the more often he smiled, the more often did you want to be the cause for it.

Fraser was like water after you’ve been dying of thirst on your trip through the Sahara – only the thirst was never-ending because Fraser was more like a drop of water at a time, so you had to come back again and again to try and quench your thirst and you always came back thirstier than you had been before.

And it didn’t matter that this wasn’t the way casual was spelled. Casual was overrated anyway.

He only hoped that Fraser had some similar view on the matter.

The stroking continued and finally Fraser answered.

“Ray, you don’t want a relationship,” Fraser said, not unkind, he just felt that someone should remind Ray of the fact.

“I can’t even spell ‘casual’, Fraser,” Ray mumbled as low as he could.

“Ah, I see,” Fraser replied in an amused tone.

But before Ray could go ballistic and demand what the hell kinda answer that was supposed to be Fraser continued.

“I’m glad, Ray.”

This was such a ridiculous response to Ray’s confession that he twisted in Fraser’s embrace to stare at his partner.

Fraser was smiling at him with a smile that reached all the way up to his eyes; Ray could even see the soft creases where his eyes crinkled. He was momentarily speechless.

“Huh?” Was the only intelligent thing that came to mind faced with this kind of smile.

“It is awfully hard to keep personal feelings and pleasure separated on an ongoing basis. And while it is certainly possible I have to admit to feel a little relieved that I won’t have to be careful about psychological boundaries in the future.”

And while Ray wasn’t sure if he had struggled through all of this Fraserish correctly he assumed this meant that Fraser did have a section that said ‘cuddling’ on his pressure gauge after all; so he slung his arms around Fraser’s neck to pull him down for another one of those soul-deep kisses.  


##  **-The End-**

  
  
  


###  **How to Spell Casual:**

  
a **C** arefree **A** dventure, consisting of **S** ex, and **U** ndemanding, **A** mazing, **L** ust  


###  **How Ray Spells Casual:**

  
**C** omplete, **O** verpowering **M** adness followed by **M** onstrous, **I** ntolerable **T** orture with just enough **M** ind-boggling **E** cstasy to lead to **N** ever-ending **T** hirst


End file.
